Longevity

People often ask me how I'm able to live so long, given my self-destructive lifestyle and my proclivity to making enemies. I live by three simple rules, follow these rules and you'll live a full long life like Honey Brown himself.

1. Never sit with your back to a door, that is the easiest way to get a poisonous dart in the neck. As learnt from Sealab 2021.

2. Never invite a vampire in, doing so will render you powerless. As learnt from The Lost Boys.

3. Don't be black. As learnt from many many horror, sci-fi, war, romantic-comedy, and silent movies.