It ain't the club kid era

There was once a girl I really liked and she asked me back to here place. After a glass of wine I excused myself to the bathroom and found some hairspray. I immediately pulled my few remaining pubes out and sprayed them straight.

I went back to room and dropped my pants and said, "I'm so horny that not only is Brown Crown One erect but also my pubic hair is hard as a throbbing cock.



Later that night, I paid for a hooker.

That hooker later turned out to be a post office drop box. I lost 50 bucks and only ejaculated twice.

Fellini's "8 1/2"

My second biggest fear in life behind Rachel Ray is that someday I'll be performing cunnilingus and a crab or perhaps multiple crabs will jump from their house above beaver lodge and take up residence in my stache.

Modern Warfare

So I've been playing Call of Duty:4 online recently, and I keep getting killed by like 12 year olds who talk trash in high pitched non-ball dropped voices. It bothers me for awhile but then I just remember I can grow pubic hair.

Overcast

A guy sitting next to me on the bus today said that overcast days always made him depressed. I definitely would have guessed that it was the way he always said vacuous statements to strangers that don't care what the fuck makes him feel any one way or the other.