Kill Anderson

Back in '86 I went to Branson and got hocked up with a post office job by a guy named Collard. I met him a a bar and he brought me in, but got fired two weeks later for being a drunk.

So I was new in town and green at the job. Most the guys who had their shit together just stared down the manager. I tried the same but I was a vagina on legs so it didn't work too well. I had to learn how to be a man and work my shift.

The quickest way to accomplish that was to come to work smoking a cigarette and put the cig out on another guy's face. Then if anyone else tries to jump in I pull my small waist knife and cut my palm. I do little damage to myself but show the bullshitters that I'm not Ray Liotta'ing shit everywhere, and the attacker escapes singing sad sad songs. Fool proof plane. As long as no one is serious.

Change

I finally got my HDD fixed. So, I might start posting new posts soon. I'm not sure of the demand for my thoughts. I think it is rather small and contrite. But if 3 people ask me to continue I shall. And if not, then I might still just ramble on.


New post.

My last high school zoo visit was with a girlfriend of mine. All was going great until we saw the beautiful creature that was the polar bear. He as swimming in a very exact pattern. At first I though it was because of my girl's menstruation and the bear smelling it. But it turned out that it was my bag of Brother Laurent that drove the beast crazy.

Just goes to show you that the velvet tunnel isn't to blame for everything.

Georgistan is not a good person

I hate the Atlanta Braves and everyone who ever played for them.  But hearing that Greg Maddux retired I had a variety of emotions.  

He was by far the best pure pitcher that I grew up watching.  Forget Randy and Roger, they had power but not the feel Greg did.  And compared to Gregory's fellow pitching staff, Tom Glavine and John Smolts, I know that Maddux is much better, also saying that both Tom and John are very very solid Hall of Fame candidates.  But, I hate Greg for everything he did to my Reds.  And knowing that, I assume there will be one baseball writer who doesn't vote for him on his first ballot.  So we'll continue the tradition of no unanimous baseball hall of famers.  No Ruth, no Aaron, no Mays, no Christ.  Which is fucked the prostate fucked up.  There should have been some guy in the past, and there wasn't, but we should punish the current guys.

Blowing Dandelions

I would hate to be the clerk who rents out shit. You have no ownage in the stuff but you have to be the guy who busts balls if someone is late with the return. That is one of the thankless yet not dirty jobs. So you won't see them on tv.

Much like hats. Fuck that job, I would never ride another's head and slowly excrete cum into the minds of many young. Earwig........not for me, sorry.

The shitty Mel Gibson movie

I walk down the street and look at other people. Everyone does this I'm sure. But I know if I showed off my ability to milk the shit out of an armadillo at anytime to any of these Eric Albins', even David Icke would get his ear drums hammered by a god damn sheep of a mallet.

Chicken Kiev

"How many people shot a gun today", you might ask? And I might answer, "too many". But I'm not a stuck up left wing asshole. But too many guns were shot today, so stop buying salt peter, dicks.