Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Longevity

People often ask me how I'm able to live so long, given my self-destructive lifestyle and my proclivity to making enemies. I live by three simple rules, follow these rules and you'll live a full long life like Honey Brown himself.

1. Never sit with your back to a door, that is the easiest way to get a poisonous dart in the neck. As learnt from Sealab 2021.

2. Never invite a vampire in, doing so will render you powerless. As learnt from The Lost Boys.

3. Don't be black. As learnt from many many horror, sci-fi, war, romantic-comedy, and silent movies.