Fellini's "8 1/2"

My second biggest fear in life behind Rachel Ray is that someday I'll be performing cunnilingus and a crab or perhaps multiple crabs will jump from their house above beaver lodge and take up residence in my stache.

Rosemary Clooney

Mustache On or Off once had a hemroid, but he popped it and it became Spiro Agnew.

RFK

Mustache On or Off loves to stand in the middle of a large group of friends and yell, "Oh Shit!!!!!!!".

Yeah, not that funny, but all my friends know I run the midwest egyptian mafia; so they assume that a hit is on me and they dive for cover. I love to see their faces after they come up for air. Pure Fatty Arbuckle.