Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Drunkfather (Scottie 2 Hottie)

AFI Top 100 review of The Godfather

1997 ranking - 3rd
2007 ranking - 2nd
Released - 1972

So since I've seen this movie at least a half a time I decided to write a running diary of my viewing of The Godfather. After seeing what I wrote afterwards I became aware that 85% of my thoughts had nothing to do with the movie, so I was kind of torn. But I decided that since this is such a cultural literacy movie that a running log of it means much more than a straight up review. So enjoy this, and know that the following is non-edited. Know that 10:41 to 10:55 is my favorite.

10:15 PM - Popped the DVD in and settled down with a nice can of Natural Light.

10:17 PM - Some guy with a stache is telling a story of a girl who was made to drink and guys tried to take advantage of her but she resisted so they beat her. Don't care about the girl, but that's a fine stache.

10:20 PM - 2 of 2 characters on screen so fat have mustaches, thusly my penis is erect.

10:24 PM - Wedding scene. Bored. Start sudoku puzzle.

10:26 PM - Finished sudoku puzzle.

10:27 PM - Open second natti.

10:33 PM - Wedding scene still going on. Also, I've decided that whomever is lucky enough to be married to me (for tax purposes only, not for her being the only woman I sleep with) is not allowed to invite any creoles.

10:37 PM - First making an offer someone can't refuse line. Classless, I've heard that in many many sitcoms, I'm sure Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola stole it, just classless.

10:41 PM - Left testicle itching sensation from clean shaving given to it today. Yes, I only shave my left testicle, I call it the Leftin Sheen. Too bad I'm not watching Apocalypse Now, with Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall, since The Godfather does have Brando and Duvall.

10:42 PM - Scratch left testicle to ease the itching.

10:46 PM - Third Natti.

10:50 PM - Famous horse's head in bed scene (real horse head by the way). Reminds me of the Audi commercial during the Super Bowl and that I need to look into buying an Audi.

10:55 PM - Just learnt that Martin Sheen did in fact audition for the role of Michael. Thank god I named my ball hair shaving style after him, it all works right.

11:03 PM - Texas/Kansas game close, leaving to watch.

11:05 PM - Fourth natti.

11:18 PM - Texas wins by three, back to movie.

11:20 PM - Fifth can of Natural Light.

10:30 PM - Ever notice that people who can't count don't ever know what time it is? That fucking pisses me off.

11:31 PM - Crack open the happiness that is natti number 6.

11:32 PM - Drinking more beer and making less comments, first sign that you are an alcoholic.

11:41 PM - Beautiful scene between Michael and Don Vito Corleone. Kind of makes me think that I should take up my father's business of retiring at 42 and drinking a lot of Natural Light after that.

11:42 PM - One more can of natti, then stop drinking for the night. 7 is good for a monday.

11:44 PM - Have to take the trash out and smoke break.

11:55 PM - Back to the movie.

11:58 PM - Back to a new natti.

12:02 PM - Robert Duvall is wearing a hear piece, a pretty bad one. If I ever go bald I'll just use mustache hear to cover my head. Maybe one or two ass hairs as well.

12:10 PM - Guys are playing Hitz, getting too loud to hear well, thank god I've seen this movie multiple times.

12:15 PM - Beer 9 right as micaels first big family business scenes comes on. Great timing by me. I'm the shit more so than Meatloaf but less so than Mr. T.

12:16 PM - Mr. T is fucking awesome.

12:17 AM - Just realized that I need to type AM not PM.

12:21 AM - I don't like the Italians (despite being part Italian, a small part but a part, mainly my anus) because I don't trust people who live in shoes. The old woman in a shoe, the italians on a boot, other such persons.

12:26 AM - Goats in Italy, which are pronounced goatiloes.

12:27 AM - Gots ta urinate.

12:28 AM - Back to the movie.

12:29 AM - Wondered how many girls in the world wished that my right hand during my urination was their hand...and I can up with the number 2.5 billion.

12:31 AM - Cerveza nĂºmero diez.

12:39 AM - Sad that the soundtarck didn't get a nod for an oscar because the composer sampled some of his own earlier works. I hate oscar, he's such a grouch.

12:41 AM - A guy got his finger bit. Reminds me of what my ex-wife did to me.

12:42 AM - My ass hit the fast forward button on the PS3 controller and I missed some Italian spoken. Fuck my ass.

12:43 AM - This makes a dozen beers.

12:44 AM - Finally actual tits in this movie,besides the start witht he staches, this is the best part. Forget all the fine acting/directing/writing.

12:45 AM - Michaels girl just said writing right after I typer writting, haha alright.

12:48 AM - Domestic violence!!! Man towards woman and woman towards man. Although mainly man towards woman, which I do frown upon and is the only thing I don't think should be made fun of.

12:51 AM - Shoot out at the toll both. I wonder how many bullets i can take and still be able to fight back/move away fromt he attackers. With full beard I guess 5, with no facila hair I guess negative one, with just at stache I assume it to be around the triple digits.

12:56 AM- I can hear people going to their rooms for the night. So loud. So loud like Quiet Riot, I want to feel the noise but i can not just cum on and feel the noise.

12:58 AM- Confession, I used backspace a lot for the last post.

1:00 Am - the meeting of the Dons. Much like the meeting we had for our party, a lot of men with a lot of power but without anything to say about shit.

1:02 am- group chuckle about communism. Communism is ths choice of the people. The people that hate freedom. And freedom is the new opiate of the masses,behind religion.

1:03 AM - Slippery Anus Steve IM's me to tell me that Wolf is on the Soup. I love wolf (an American Gladiator), but I can't not watch the Godfather, come on steve.
1:04 AM - Natti anew.

11:10 AM - The thing I've come to see in great movies is that you simply need to film characters in the scene who aren't speaking but have solid reactions.

11:13 Am - Pissing/taking out contacts for thinght.

11:16 AAM - Back.

11:20 AM - Beer 14 I believe.

11:21 AM- Another offer someone can't refuse. Great line. Would have been much beeter had i seen the movie when it first came out but it has been so sppofed (poorly) in so many movies/tv shows that it is odd to hear it now. Even though I've seen this movie many times but even the first time I heard it the phrase sounded odd. which pisses me off. the only thing I can get the same pleasure from now is like foreign films since they get so little coverage in america.

1:22 AM - realize that i've been typing 11 instead of 1.

1:22 AM - back hurst from typing.

1:24 AM - Michael (Al Pacino) finally steps into his role with all he has. A decent performance if you are using the dictionary for the anti-hyperbolists.

1:25 AM _ new favorite word 'anti-hyperbolists'.

1:27 AM - Hyperbolists and anti-hyperbotists might not be words at all now that I think about it. If they aren't then Merriam and that god damned webstedr better make them words.

1:32 AM - Relaly just thinking about playing Call of Duty Four after the movie.

1:33 A< - Top row of a thirty pack = done.

1:35 AM - Marlon Brando is amazing.

1:39 AM- I will never wear black to a funeral. I've turned down about 5 friends/family funerals in the past few years. The nezt time I attended one I'll wear the outfit that the dying person loved the most on me. So let me know what you think my sweetest clothes are.

1:40 AM - Beer

1:41 A< - Stop posting for the big baptism/assinination cleaning house snce.

1:44 Am _ Ah ok and done orgasming from that.

1:46 Last twenty minutes so fuck off, can't keep typing.

2:08 AM - What a horrible movie whaty do I watch such swill? Is it because swill was the word swi in it? I think yes. But despite me wanting to blow up this movie I still rate it a

9 out of 10 mustachioed kisses.

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