Dr. Sweet

I saw the biggest douche at the bar last night. He was wearing black jeans, a black t-shirt, a black suit jacket and one of those belts made out of bullets. His hair was in a puffy faux-hawk. He kept yelling out "Can I get a fuck yeah for satan?!" I'm normally all for giving out fuck yeahs for various causes but not for him nor his satan. If I had the ability to conjure up a mountain lion with my mind and make it attack him, I probably would have seriously considered doing it at that time.