David Ogilvy. Wiki

I want to initiate an initiative to ban advertisements from saying the phrase "_blank_ isn't the only thing. It is the only thing." I saw a movie, a cleaning product, and a period reducing hormone use that phrase in their commercial today. Come up with something original, like "Plug your ears, this movie will be loud. Plug your drains, this will clean your tub and shit. Plug your vagina."

There, I covered all three items in ease.

Jerry Falwell? Not bad.

It isn't so much that the angels were tiptoeing on the rooftops as much as they were dancing on the awnings. They were much closer and moving in a much more violent beautiful way.

Number lines

The worst part of going to a bar is seeing all those rich labels of spirits. Blue label this, single malt that, LE nipple.

Whenever I see those bottles I think of the good times the wealthy could have at a place like this and wonder about the turns I made that led me to be on the good side of those labels.

Sushi

Mrs. Mustache On or Off always pictured you with a face. But you have none, such is the fatality of a scuttle fish affair.

Armageddon

The world ain't right man. My snarf doll doesn't say "snarf" after I tease and poke him anymore.

God only knows that this is not what I would ever choose to do, to anyone, ever.

Mario Batali fucked up the liquid on the pasta

Alfredo sauce done incorrectly tastes way way way too similar to the sweat of Rasputin. I'm not saying that is a bad nor a good thing. It is just a thing.

The shitty Mel Gibson movie

I walk down the street and look at other people. Everyone does this I'm sure. But I know if I showed off my ability to milk the shit out of an armadillo at anytime to any of these Eric Albins', even David Icke would get his ear drums hammered by a god damn sheep of a mallet.